Wednesday 2 June 2010

Story six: dialogue

“Hey, fancy seeing you here”
“Hi”
“Everything ok? What’s that you’re drinking?”
“Alcohol”
“That good huh? So which is it, work, women or rugby?”
“mm“
“You don’t want to talk about it, right, got it… How about 20 questions? All you have to do is grunt. First question: Is it work?”
“mm”
“Ok, is it women?”
“mm”
“Rugby?”
“Uh-uh”
“Ooo, a change of grunt! But if ‘uh-uh’ is no then that makes it work AND women. No wonder you’re hitting the scotch.”
“I just never thought anything would come of it, y’know? In fact, I’m not sure I even thought as far as that. Things come up, I take opportunities, I deal with setbacks. The one thing I do not do is plan. Who wants to think that far ahead? Decisions, compromise, uch.”
“Uh, yeah. So now you’ve got to have a plan?”
“Maybe. What I actually have to do is tell her what I’ve done.”
“Woah mate, hang on there! Why would you do that?”
“I think I like her. I mean really like her. So she needs to know and then she can decide what we should do about it.”
“And you would just go along with whatever she said??”
“Well, I guess so. Maybe I should outline a few choices, narrow it down a bit.”
“I should think so! Or not tell her anything, did you think of that? This is not cool buddy, you’re not the only one in this you know.”
“But that’s just what I’m saying, she’s a part of my life now so this affects her too.”
“And me? What about me?”
“What about you? You’d come and visit wouldn’t you? We don’t see each other that often.”
“You haven’t even told her but you seem to know what the answer will be. And you’d just take it all on yourself?”
“Well sure I would, but I’ve only just decided to talk to her, I have no real idea what she’ll think.”
“That’s true, she might say you should both make a run for it.”
“Honestly? That’d be great, but she’s got a good job here, family and friends. I wouldn’t want to take her away from all that.”
“So you’d agree to just turn yourself in and take all the blame if she asked? How would you explain the marks?”
“Eh? Where was that in the options? I’m just thinking it’s a bit premature to be asking her to move to Vancouver with me.”
“Move to Vancouver.”
“Yes, I’ve been asked to open a new office there. I thought we were just having a friendly chat in the pub, but turns out the CEO was sounding me out.”
“Thank God for that mate, thank God. Don’t ever do that to me again. Hey Bar, can we get some champagne over here? Congratulations buddy, here’s to the snow!”

2 comments:

  1. Feedback:
    Easy to read and fluent but doesn't make any sense!
    Sounds like a homo-erotic story
    Too ambiguous about what's going on
    Voice one not curious enough about the girl or doesn't know enough about her from earlier i.e. he either doesn't know she exists so should want to know or he does but knows nothing about her which is also strange
    Too abstract and non-specific, need to say somewhere what's going on
    Trying to do too much in one piece

    ReplyDelete
  2. You're a young whipperschnapper, huh?
    So was I till I had my NDE...

    ReplyDelete