Story six: dialogue

“Hey, fancy seeing you here”
“Hi”
“Everything ok? What’s that you’re drinking?”
“Alcohol”
“That good huh? So which is it, work, women or rugby?”
“mm“
“You don’t want to talk about it, right, got it… How about 20 questions? All you have to do is grunt. First question: Is it work?”
“mm”
“Ok, is it women?”
“mm”
“Rugby?”
“Uh-uh”
“Ooo, a change of grunt! But if ‘uh-uh’ is no then that makes it work AND women. No wonder you’re hitting the scotch.”
“I just never thought anything would come of it, y’know? In fact, I’m not sure I even thought as far as that. Things come up, I take opportunities, I deal with setbacks. The one thing I do not do is plan. Who wants to think that far ahead? Decisions, compromise, uch.”
“Uh, yeah. So now you’ve got to have a plan?”
“Maybe. What I actually have to do is tell her what I’ve done.”
“Woah mate, hang on there! Why would you do that?”
“I think I like her. I mean really like her. So she needs to know and then she can decide what we should do about it.”
“And you would just go along with whatever she said??”
“Well, I guess so. Maybe I should outline a few choices, narrow it down a bit.”
“I should think so! Or not tell her anything, did you think of that? This is not cool buddy, you’re not the only one in this you know.”
“But that’s just what I’m saying, she’s a part of my life now so this affects her too.”
“And me? What about me?”
“What about you? You’d come and visit wouldn’t you? We don’t see each other that often.”
“You haven’t even told her but you seem to know what the answer will be. And you’d just take it all on yourself?”
“Well sure I would, but I’ve only just decided to talk to her, I have no real idea what she’ll think.”
“That’s true, she might say you should both make a run for it.”
“Honestly? That’d be great, but she’s got a good job here, family and friends. I wouldn’t want to take her away from all that.”
“So you’d agree to just turn yourself in and take all the blame if she asked? How would you explain the marks?”
“Eh? Where was that in the options? I’m just thinking it’s a bit premature to be asking her to move to Vancouver with me.”
“Move to Vancouver.”
“Yes, I’ve been asked to open a new office there. I thought we were just having a friendly chat in the pub, but turns out the CEO was sounding me out.”
“Thank God for that mate, thank God. Don’t ever do that to me again. Hey Bar, can we get some champagne over here? Congratulations buddy, here’s to the snow!”

Week six

We were only eight this week, sad that some couldn't make it, but also a very good number for discussion. This week's homework was dialogue. 'If you like, use characters you've already written about. You might even want to 'convert' an earlier descriptive narrative. If you have little time, just do Stage 1...

STAGE 1
Two characters are 'talking'. Pretend it's a script, with no prose at all in between. Your characters are in conflict (that doesn't necessarily mean an argument.) Make the dialogue work very very hard. Consider the possibilities of irony, misunderstanding, humour, subtext, differing perspectives, contrast between voices... What is NOT said?

STAGE 2
IF you have time, go back and add only the most necessary prose in between the speaking parts:
-- to identify or locate characters (eg "she was still in her school uniform", "he was sitting on a pile of fur coats", "they had reached the top floor where the view...", "It was 1789 and Paris was...")
-- to clarify important or unspoken action (eg "he dropped the gun", "her perfume reminded him of his stepmother", "the car didn't stop", "the chandeliers shook with the first roll of thunder"...)

STAGE 3
Please bring clear copies to class next week. Your work will be read out by others.'

Matt sent his dialogue as his apologies:

Man on park bench. Dog on string.

Grumpy man: "I've heard that he won't be able to make Elise's class tonight. Typical"

Small dog: "Yap, yap, yap"

Grumpy man: "Yes, yes I think you are right, he won't make next week either"

Small dog: "Yap"

Grumpy man: "I'm not as worried as you. But I do think, next time you see him, it would be useful if you subtly raised the whole dedication and commitment thing to the artist's way"

Small dog: "Yap, yap, woof"

Grumpy man: "Subtly, I said, there is no need to be extremist or set unecessary cats running."

I was entertained :-)

Comments from the class:
Try and follow the emotional logic, do the reactions make sense?
Dialogue always gets hugely pared down in editing
If speech gets interrupted use a - (long dash) at the end
Good scene of dialogue has a turn of events/moment where a revelation lands
Easy to be disingenous and mislead the reader